These Covid 19 days are intense.

They’re filled with new experiences, challenges and waves of emotion.

They’ve been odd in so many ways, not the least of which is how we seem to move through mass moments of experience. And I don’t mean, everyone is watching the news at once or visiting the local tip because they can’t work, so they might was well renovate the bathroom.

I mean, the way in which we collectively seem to mourn our social connections, for example, or suddenly start to feel tired at the same time. It’s like Christmas, when you know that within a general form, everyone is doing exactly the same as you…even on the other side of the world!

That’s what happened one day when I suddenly realized how much I missed my friends, I mean really missed them, with a deep sadness and sense of loss.

Over the next few days, there were articles in the paper and people were talking about this deep kick-to-the-guts not being in contact with trusted valued friends gave them.

I have found it fascinating and comforting to see that as a species, we seem to have certain requirements and responses to those requirements not being met.

What a rich time of self-discovery we humans are living through!

Near Me

Kylie van Dam

April 2020

I knew I was a person who needed hugs.

But I’d never think this’d hurt me as much as it

Obviously does.

There’s an ache and a sadness where my

Friends need to be…

Close to hand, there’s so much to know,

Instinctively.

I knew we needed each other, to get along.

But I’d never think being apart like this

Could feel so very wrong.

There’s an ache and a sadness where my

Friends need to be…

In the same room, in the same space,

You and me.

I didn’t know, that I know, how you

Hold your shoulders, unevenly.

I didn’t know, that I know, how you

Lean in when I cry.

I didn’t know, that I know, how you

Eat a biscuit, crumbling.

I didn’t know how much I know you without knowing why.

Like the way you hug…it’s always a surprise.

 Or the rainbow of your voice that tells me everything is fine.

I didn’t know how much I needed you near me…

To feel right.

…………………………

I didn’t know, that I know, how you

Hold your shoulders.

I didn’t know, that I know, how you

Lean in.

I didn’t know, that I know, how you

Eat a biscuit.

I didn’t know how much I know you without knowing why.

Like the way you hug…it’s always a surprise.

 Or the rainbow of your voice that tells me everything is fine.

I didn’t know how much I needed you near me…

To feel right.

And one day this’ll end.

We’ll slowly learn again

How to touch.

We’ll dance and sing and play.

Laugh and cry away,

The strain and fear and sadness…

Of these dangerous lonely days.

And I’ll know, that I know, how you

Hold your shoulders, unevenly.

I’ll always know, that I know,

How you lean in when I cry.

I’ll know, that I know,

How you eat a biscuit, crumbling.

I know I’ll know how much I need you,

Without knowing why.

Like the way you hug…

I miss that sweet surprise.

Or the rainbow of your voice that tells me

Everything is fine.

I’ll always know how much I need you near me,

To feel right.